Gin and Juice Box

As a kid, how fun was it drinking out of a juice box? So fun.

As grown ups, we need to rekindle that love.

I'm not a drinker, but this would be a popular product, I'm sure.

Testosterone Soda

I really don't want this product to exist. But I'm an idea guy; I can't help it.

I don't even know if testosterone is bio-available in liquid form. I know there are shots, creams and patches out there. So, hell, you could probably drink it too.

Of course, this soda would have to include a massive dose of YELLOW 5 food coloring to cancel out the long-term effects.

(By the way, I highly recommend this episode of This American Life called "Testosterone".

More proof, by the way, that this blog should be titled "My great inventions that someone else has already invented". My original design for "Testosterone Soda" was the following:
. "Balls" just seemed like the right name for a soda with testosterone. But "Bawls" already exists (and they did a better job with the packaging than I would have: Look, it's even ribbed for your pleasure.

Someone just showed me this video. Totally what I had in mind!

Artists: Nuzzle your nozzle.

The paintbrush. Think about it. Why the paintbrush? WHY?

Now! The bottle. AH! The squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze bottle! It's so much better!

Want to get a child to paint? Try giving him a brush and see what happens. Frustration, that's what.

But: The squeeeeeeeze bottle! Yes! It makes so much sense.

It's instinctive. It's childish. It's FUN. The way making art should be.

See, plenty of paint is sold in squeeze bottles. But they're ALL missing the most important thing: A DAMN NOZZLE! Yeah, there are some out there with nozzles, but they'll all really tiny bottles of puffy paint or fabric paint or glitter paint. Dah!

Paintbrushes are good for blending. That's all they are good for.

Want a clean line? Try a paintbrush: You have to keep re-dipping the whole time. It turns out all ragged around the edges. Yuck! Who wants that? How about a squeeze bottle with a thin nozzle?

This is my invention: It's so simple. And so genius at the same time. It's just a damn plastic bottle. Removable top. With a nozzle. (With a collection of nozzles! Different shapes.) And it's sold in art stores. Right there with the paint. You fill it with your own mix of color.

Even better would be paint that is actually sold in a bottle with a nozzle on it. It's so obvious. Why doesn't this exist already? It's getting me all worked up.

Drumming your fingers and tapping your feet

Percussion gloves.

Another stroke of brilliance coming atcha.

Each finger has it's own sensor, and the whole thing is wirelessly hooked into the P.A. So the performer can drum his fingers on any old thing, i.e. the mic stand, his own body —— even while singing/rapping/vocalizing/chanting/screaming.

You customize the drum kit before each performance so each finger can be any sound you choose.

The set up on stage would be much quicker. Instead of moving in a whole drum kit, you just slip on some gloves.

This would be impressive as a one-man show. Especially when combined with...

Percussion shoes.

Remember those hi-tops from the 1980's that would light up when you took a step? These will be the percussive version of that.

The shoes could have two different markets entirely.
  • The simple version for on-the-street or impressing your friends at school: the sound-maker is built into the shoes. The basic version wouldn't be as loud as the...
  • Stage version, which would be like the gloves in that it would connect to the PA system for mega-volume. The performance shoes could have a separate sensor on the toe and the heel, kinda like tap shoes.

A skilled performer could really rock the house with this ensemble. It wouldn't have to be that expensive, either, compared to say, a real electronic drum kit. Probably a couple hundred dollars for a set of gloves.