I'm now officially using this website to claim neologisms before they enter the mainstream.

(See my article on "Take a chillaxtive!")

Kinda like the urban legend of a "Poor Man's Patent": that you can mail yourself an idea and don't open the envelope so the post date is on there, so later in court you can "prove" that you came up with it first.

...Kinda like that, I'm using my website to "prove" that I came up with certain neologisms FIRST.

The following is not my invention, but is entirely the brainchild of my best friend Josh. (And I will swear on a stack of Bibles that it was indeed him who came up with it.)

Ready for it?

So, pretend you're at a party and a really lame dude says something witty and contrarian. This is the type of situation where a person would say "Touché", right? (Which, incidentally, I read somewhere is a French term taken from fencing. It just means "touch." It's kinda like saying "nice move, you win," right?)

So here's the side-splitting new twist on that idea: Instead of saying "touché," you say "douché!"

AH HA HA HA! "Douché!"

(Drawing by Katie)

Awesomize old shoes

I've been meaning to post more of my crafty DIY-type projects up here. (Shoot, I've been meaning to post more up here at ALL. I've been so busy with my rain barrel company, I haven't had time to invent useless crap.)

But anyway, here's something I did a while back that I've been meaning to put up here.

I had an old pair of shoes that were kinda ugly on the outside.

[Shown are a different pair, but you get the idea]

And I wanted to awesomize them. So I got a pelt from an old green carebear doll, cut it up and I used Gorilla Glue to stick the pieces on the outside. I didn't really have a pattern for cutting out the pelt, so I just started sticking pieces on and cutting off the excess. If you try it, it's way easier than you think. (But not super easy either, I mean, it's probably an intermediate-level craft project. If crafting were a ski slope, it would be a blue square.)

When I wear them out, most people think they are slippers, and they wonder how I'm able to do such awesome dance moves in them. ("Wouldn't that require more friction?")Then I show them my soles, and they are amazed and they want to be me.