As grown ups, we need to rekindle that love.
I'm not a drinker, but this would be a popular product, I'm sure.
Gin and Juice Box
As a kid, how fun was it drinking out of a juice box? So fun.
As grown ups, we need to rekindle that love.
I'm not a drinker, but this would be a popular product, I'm sure.
As grown ups, we need to rekindle that love.
I'm not a drinker, but this would be a popular product, I'm sure.
Testosterone Soda
I really don't want this product to exist. But I'm an idea guy; I can't help it.
I don't even know if testosterone is bio-available in liquid form. I know there are shots, creams and patches out there. So, hell, you could probably drink it too.
Of course, this soda would have to include a massive dose of YELLOW 5 food coloring to cancel out the long-term effects.
(By the way, I highly recommend this episode of This American Life called "Testosterone".
More proof, by the way, that this blog should be titled "My great inventions that someone else has already invented". My original design for "Testosterone Soda" was the following:
. "Balls" just seemed like the right name for a soda with testosterone. But "Bawls" already exists (and they did a better job with the packaging than I would have: Look, it's even ribbed for your pleasure.
Someone just showed me this video. Totally what I had in mind!
I don't even know if testosterone is bio-available in liquid form. I know there are shots, creams and patches out there. So, hell, you could probably drink it too.
Of course, this soda would have to include a massive dose of YELLOW 5 food coloring to cancel out the long-term effects.
(By the way, I highly recommend this episode of This American Life called "Testosterone".
More proof, by the way, that this blog should be titled "My great inventions that someone else has already invented". My original design for "Testosterone Soda" was the following:
. "Balls" just seemed like the right name for a soda with testosterone. But "Bawls" already exists (and they did a better job with the packaging than I would have: Look, it's even ribbed for your pleasure.Someone just showed me this video. Totally what I had in mind!
Artists: Nuzzle your nozzle.
The paintbrush. Think about it. Why the paintbrush? 
WHY?
Now! The bottle. AH! The squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze bottle! It's so much better!
Want to get a child to paint? Try giving him a brush and see what happens. Frustration, that's what.
But: The squeeeeeeeze bottle! Yes! It makes so much sense.
It's instinctive. It's childish. It's FUN. The way making art should be.
See, plenty of paint is sold in squeeze bottles.
But they're ALL missing the most important thing: A DAMN NOZZLE! Yeah, there are some out there with nozzles, but they'll all really tiny bottles of puffy paint or fabric paint or glitter paint. Dah!
Paintbrushes are good for blending. That's all they are good for.
Want a clean line? Try a paintbrush: You have to keep re-dipping the whole time. It turns out all ragged around the edges.
Yuck! Who wants that? How about a squeeze bottle with a thin nozzle?
This is my invention: It's so simple. And so genius at the same time. It's just a damn plastic bottle. Removable top. With a nozzle. (With a collection of nozzles! Different shapes.) And it's sold in art stores. Right there with the paint. You fill it with your own mix of color.
Even better would be paint that is actually sold in a bottle with a nozzle on it. It's so obvious. Why doesn't this exist already? It's getting me all worked up.
WHY?Now! The bottle. AH! The squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze bottle! It's so much better!
Want to get a child to paint? Try giving him a brush and see what happens. Frustration, that's what.
But: The squeeeeeeeze bottle! Yes! It makes so much sense.
It's instinctive. It's childish. It's FUN. The way making art should be.
See, plenty of paint is sold in squeeze bottles.
But they're ALL missing the most important thing: A DAMN NOZZLE! Yeah, there are some out there with nozzles, but they'll all really tiny bottles of puffy paint or fabric paint or glitter paint. Dah!Paintbrushes are good for blending. That's all they are good for.
Want a clean line? Try a paintbrush: You have to keep re-dipping the whole time. It turns out all ragged around the edges.
Yuck! Who wants that? How about a squeeze bottle with a thin nozzle?This is my invention: It's so simple. And so genius at the same time. It's just a damn plastic bottle. Removable top. With a nozzle. (With a collection of nozzles! Different shapes.) And it's sold in art stores. Right there with the paint. You fill it with your own mix of color.
Even better would be paint that is actually sold in a bottle with a nozzle on it. It's so obvious. Why doesn't this exist already? It's getting me all worked up.
Drumming your fingers and tapping your feet
Percussion gloves.
Another stroke of brilliance coming atcha.Each finger has it's own sensor, and the whole thing is wirelessly hooked into the P.A. So the performer can drum his fingers on any old thing, i.e. the mic stand, his own body —— even while singing/rapping/vocalizing/chanting/screaming.
You customize the drum kit before each performance so each finger can be any sound you choose.
The set up on stage would be much quicker. Instead of moving in a whole drum kit, you just slip on some gloves.
This would be impressive as a one-man show. Especially when combined with...
Percussion shoes.
Remember those hi-tops from the 1980's that would light up when you took a step? 
These will be the percussive version of that.The shoes could have two different markets entirely.
- The simple version for on-the-street or impressing your friends at school: the sound-maker is built into the shoes. The basic version wouldn't be as loud as the...
- Stage version, which would be like the gloves in that it would connect to the PA system for mega-volume. The performance shoes could have a separate sensor on the toe and the heel, kinda like tap shoes.
A skilled performer could really rock the house with this ensemble. It wouldn't have to be that expensive, either, compared to say, a real electronic drum kit. Probably a couple hundred dollars for a set of gloves.
Sleep Cycle Alarm Clock
As I was going for my nap this afternoon, I had a vision of an invention that somebody needs to invent for me:
Instead of an alarm clock that wakes you up at a particular time, this alarm clock would wake you up at a particular stage in your sleep cycle —— whatever stage that is that's easiest to wake up at (which, after some research, turns out is the dream stage, REM.)
But, lo and behold, more proof that this blog should be titled "My great inventions that someone has already invented":
Someone already came up with a similar product, called Zeo (sounds like a character in Power Rangers
, huh?) Their website looks right-on. Zeo is exactly what I had already invented in my brain: It's a headband that you wear during the night which monitors your sleep patterns. It wakes you up after a certain number of cycles. Not only does Zeo wake you up at the "right" time, but it also monitors your night's sleep, so you can see what your brainwaves were doing all night.
Apparently, Zeo isn't for sale yet, but they are choosing a select group of people to be their beta-testers. My middle name is Guinea Pig
, so I signed up for their waiting list.
I did some more googling, and there's a similar product already out there, Sleeptracker.
Instead of a headband, it's a wristwatch. I'm still unclear about how this could monitor your brainwaves. Maybe it doesn't; it finds out what it needs to know based on your pulse.
Instead of an alarm clock that wakes you up at a particular time, this alarm clock would wake you up at a particular stage in your sleep cycle —— whatever stage that is that's easiest to wake up at (which, after some research, turns out is the dream stage, REM.)
But, lo and behold, more proof that this blog should be titled "My great inventions that someone has already invented":
Someone already came up with a similar product, called Zeo (sounds like a character in Power Rangers
, huh?) Their website looks right-on. Zeo is exactly what I had already invented in my brain: It's a headband that you wear during the night which monitors your sleep patterns. It wakes you up after a certain number of cycles. Not only does Zeo wake you up at the "right" time, but it also monitors your night's sleep, so you can see what your brainwaves were doing all night.Apparently, Zeo isn't for sale yet, but they are choosing a select group of people to be their beta-testers. My middle name is Guinea Pig
, so I signed up for their waiting list.I did some more googling, and there's a similar product already out there, Sleeptracker.
Instead of a headband, it's a wristwatch. I'm still unclear about how this could monitor your brainwaves. Maybe it doesn't; it finds out what it needs to know based on your pulse.Just based on their website, I don't trust Sleeptracker as much as the guys who make Zeo. Too info-mercial, too daytime-television.
Anyone have experience with this type of stuff? Once I did a professional sleep study at a hospital. The intent was to analyze my brainwaves throughout the night to see when and how long I was going into the various cycles of sleep: beta, delta, REM. It was way more complicated than wearing a headband, let alone a wristwatch. They covered my scalp with so many clips and suction cups that it was uncomfortable.
I'm doubtful that a headband could be as accurate as all those sensors of the professional lab. But maybe it's not important to be all that accurate when a crude reading will suffice for the given purposes.
Further testing will be required. Who wants to get me a Sleeptracker for my birthday?
Robo Music Teacher
Before I present this idea, I'd like to state that I have taken music lessons all my life. First it was piano, then guitar, then drums. My parents paid for the lessons, and I'm glad that they did because a music education is really valuable. Moreover, it's important to have a face-to-face with a human teacher. You get a lot more out of a real-life person than a book or a video cassette.
However, I remember that when I took lessons, I'd be all jazzed-up during the lesson, but as soon as I got home, all lonely in my room, I'd lose the motivation to practice.
With that said, I want to present my robo-teacher idea. I don't view this as a replacement to a real teacher, but rather a supplement.
It's just a piece of software that interfaces with either your electronic drum kit or your Rock Band drum kit. I'm not a fan of Rock Band, but the potential of that hardware is untapped: What you have there is a drum kit interfaced with and audio-visual setup (your TV).
Robo Teacher would work like this: you wear the headphones and/or watch the TV screen. It gives you some segment to practice. You play it on your electronic drum kit, and the software recognizes the accuracy of your playing. It advances you to higher levels of complexity as you master each fundamental.
The software would be fun since it would immediately respond to your progress. Just like a video game, you'll advance to higher levels as your skills improve. Only here, the skill is applicable to real life! That, by the way, is one of the primary things that bugs me about Rock Band. It takes lots of practice to get good at something that essentially is an imitation of real life, but not actually applicable to real life. (Reminds me a lot of my blog about Nintendo Wii.)
The robo-music teacher will be a lucrative franchise because with each advancing level of mastery, there will be a new piece of software to buy. "Level 2 Intermediate," "Level 3 ..." And different styles of music to fit all tastes, "Master Samba Rhythm in 3 Weeks," "Rock Essentials," "Metal..."
And not to reiterate the obvious, but this would be better than a video game because you'd walk away with real-life skills. Imagine that! You could learn "Merengue Essentials" from a digital tutor, and the next week be on stage playing with a real band.
Back to the idea of a real teacher versus a digital one: In my opinion they are not in competition. A human teacher is better at some things than a digital teacher: A human can explain the concepts, inspire the student and focus the student's skills and abilities. But they can't sit there for hours while you drill some 4 measures over and over again. Eventually you, the student, just have to do the tedious work alone.
I'm a Spanish tutor now. I can go to the kid's house and explain the concepts to them, have conversations in Spanish and help them focus on what to practice. But there comes a time when you have to say, "Just memorize these 55 verbs and their conjugations." I remember when I was struggling to learn to type, my mom got me Mario Teaches Typing. Suddenly something "tedious" became fun. Same thing here, kinda.
However, I remember that when I took lessons, I'd be all jazzed-up during the lesson, but as soon as I got home, all lonely in my room, I'd lose the motivation to practice.
With that said, I want to present my robo-teacher idea. I don't view this as a replacement to a real teacher, but rather a supplement.
It's just a piece of software that interfaces with either your electronic drum kit or your Rock Band drum kit. I'm not a fan of Rock Band, but the potential of that hardware is untapped: What you have there is a drum kit interfaced with and audio-visual setup (your TV).
Robo Teacher would work like this: you wear the headphones and/or watch the TV screen. It gives you some segment to practice. You play it on your electronic drum kit, and the software recognizes the accuracy of your playing. It advances you to higher levels of complexity as you master each fundamental.
The software would be fun since it would immediately respond to your progress. Just like a video game, you'll advance to higher levels as your skills improve. Only here, the skill is applicable to real life! That, by the way, is one of the primary things that bugs me about Rock Band. It takes lots of practice to get good at something that essentially is an imitation of real life, but not actually applicable to real life. (Reminds me a lot of my blog about Nintendo Wii.)
The robo-music teacher will be a lucrative franchise because with each advancing level of mastery, there will be a new piece of software to buy. "Level 2 Intermediate," "Level 3 ..." And different styles of music to fit all tastes, "Master Samba Rhythm in 3 Weeks," "Rock Essentials," "Metal..."
And not to reiterate the obvious, but this would be better than a video game because you'd walk away with real-life skills. Imagine that! You could learn "Merengue Essentials" from a digital tutor, and the next week be on stage playing with a real band.
Back to the idea of a real teacher versus a digital one: In my opinion they are not in competition. A human teacher is better at some things than a digital teacher: A human can explain the concepts, inspire the student and focus the student's skills and abilities. But they can't sit there for hours while you drill some 4 measures over and over again. Eventually you, the student, just have to do the tedious work alone.
I'm a Spanish tutor now. I can go to the kid's house and explain the concepts to them, have conversations in Spanish and help them focus on what to practice. But there comes a time when you have to say, "Just memorize these 55 verbs and their conjugations." I remember when I was struggling to learn to type, my mom got me Mario Teaches Typing. Suddenly something "tedious" became fun. Same thing here, kinda.
Recycled plastic tube chair
I haven't blogged for a few weeks because I've been making real-life art, such as this thing:
It's a chair made of reclaimed plastic tubes. They're throw-aways from the assembly line where my friend works. It took about two weeks to build. I designed that hexagon pattern on the computer. We decided the hexagons would be better than flat rows in order to leave gaps and therefore make it lighter. It was really exciting to see it go from design to real life.
We drilled holes in each tube and tied them together with about 100 zip ties (why are zip ties so expensive, by the way? About $6 for a pack of 100).
It's a chair made of reclaimed plastic tubes. They're throw-aways from the assembly line where my friend works. It took about two weeks to build. I designed that hexagon pattern on the computer. We decided the hexagons would be better than flat rows in order to leave gaps and therefore make it lighter. It was really exciting to see it go from design to real life.
We drilled holes in each tube and tied them together with about 100 zip ties (why are zip ties so expensive, by the way? About $6 for a pack of 100).
We chose zip ties in the first place because our drilled holes weren't exact, so the alignment between one tube and the next wasn't perfect. Therefore, the zip ties were necessary to cover up for our imprecise drilling. However, I would have preferred bolts because they would have been much stronger. I also shyed away from glue because it's expensive and an eye-skin irritant. Furthermore, I avoided glue because I wanted it to be mechanically connected. Glue seemed like a cop-out.
The zip ties made the whole thing "flexy." So when you sat in it, it would bend and give to your weight.
It wasn't very comfortable nor practical because of it's size, especially in the original incarnation:
As you can see, the original model was much longer, which obviously gave more back support, but its weight and size were annoying. We chopped off the back.
When you sat in it, it would bend and crackle, but hold up fine. For us skinny vegans, that is. Then one of our real-life-size friends came and sat in it. He leaned back, "ahhh..." and... Pop! The whole back fell off. After we all had a good laugh about it, I just put the whole thing — in two pieces — out on the curb. It was taking up too much room in the common area, and I was done with it. A day later, someone took it! I hope they had something creative in mind for it.
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